Isn't Life Strange.

Hi Larry <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

It is good to see you using dA! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> This is a critique for ^Beccalicious's 12 Days of Critmas! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="La la la la"/> Since you specified in your artist's comments, I will stick to what I consider the strengths and weaknesses of the piece. Remember that critique is subjective and you should use/discard these comments as you see fit. Also, please disregard the star rating. I give all lit the same mid-grade as the stars are wholly inadequate for literature critiques.

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Purple"/> = a strength
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> = a weakness

Disclaimers done! Let's dig in. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Purple"/> I really enjoyed the imagery in this poem. Starting off with God's pocket was excellent, as it recalls the theme of "made in God's image" in a very literal, modern day setting. "Lesser than his gilded lint" was powerful, and I suspect that any person - with or without faith - could relate to such a feeling.
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> "I became" in the second stanza feels a little weak to me. How did you transform from a thumbtack to a sentry? And why are you catching grasshoppers instead of school buses? Bug spit is a great image, one that us PNW folks can relate to only to well, but it lacks build up for those not familiar with our region, or regions like it. And I fail to understand how it corresponds with teachers. This entire stanza feels very personal. It needs some explanation for those not residing in your skull. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Purple"/> I really do love the idea of walking bare-footed on a hot road, having done it a time or two myself. It particularly brings to mind childhood, which meshes will with "What trickles outward..."
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> I think "learned" is a weak verb in that stanza though. "I took my shoes off" works well enough on its own.
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> This is a technical gripe. A lot of your lines are broken on words like "and", "an", "how", etc - basically words that are not important to the image. Ending a line on these words brings attention to them, and thus takes attention away from the words that are important to your image. For instance:

I was born a thumbtack, and God was an

That line puts the emphasis on an rather than God. The stanza would be better broken up thus:

I was born a thumbtack, and God
was an office worker. He found me in his pocket,
lesser than his gilded lint, and I was keen
to prick his leg in transit.

In free verse, it is less important to worry about line length and more important to think of the impact of your end-words. Here is a good article that discusses this aspect of poetry: [link]

Hopefully some of these comments are helpful! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> Good luck with revisions and future writings.

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="" title="Heart"/> Lili